what day is it and did you see me today?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
