He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
