Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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