You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sponge bath it is.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
