I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
