if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
