he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
