maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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