Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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