Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize