My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
