I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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