i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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