one two three fourrrrnication!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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