im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
