I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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