just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
