This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
