Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
