you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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