i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
