I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
