Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
