He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How external is "for external use only"?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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