Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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