If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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