So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
