and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
