I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
