why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Randomize
