i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
