oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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