i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
