Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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