never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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