Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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