Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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