I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
