It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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