if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
