So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
