So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
