that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize