you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
