I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
