so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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