She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just tell him i said nine months
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Blood and glitter go together right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
