You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
