there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
