if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
