Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
