I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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