Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
