Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
