put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
