I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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