based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
