You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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