he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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